Hey i'm back....i cant believe so fast i'm blogging again....ok...i'm a bit stressed perhaps thats y...cant seem to solve my stats 2 homework till I informed the whole world looking for help....finally tink i make some breakthrough and shall go do some spssing tomorrow.
Schoolwork has been getting busier and busier. I begin to hate tutorials increasingly as they always give me more work like homework or readings. lectures are crazy enough to deal with by themselves. Haiz...i just hope the mid sem break comes now...i need a break...from all these shit...or even better next week arrives....just hate odd weeks...in fact i wish time flies so fast that october is here....yeah...den the car is here...still cant believe daddy bought the car so instantly....i know i always wanted another car in the family but i didnt expect him to do it so quickly....anyway cant wait to drive anyway i wan....like go supper or to places i want....but i know i wun go overboard....i jus need it to satisfy my needs...haven told any frends about it....prob cos i dun wan so much attention and all to come to me when i have the car....not for my soccer frends though...kinda time to return the favour since they have been ferrying me so much for so long. Not for other frends though...best they find out....i dun understand y is everyone like leaving my life...kinda regret that i've been so cold in school...realli have no frends in arts....no frends i can eat with....no frends i can tok to, see on the corridor....haiz...hope all these will change soon? cant always bother frends from other fac too....afraid they find me a bother...thinking of it now i have a car....i have practically EVERYTHING a guy needs in my age less a girlfriend. i realli cant imagine i got the car first....now that i got it, isnt it more difficult to make frends or even girlfriends? For you duno whether they like your car or you urself...maybe i shouldnt drive tt much and take public transport as often or when i go out with new frends. Tink maybe girlfriend part realli wun happen during uni time....kinda realli dun have any frends at all and maybe or confirm will be more anti social when i drive to school. Anyway, just be happy...who cares...nobody cares about you anyway. Just got injured again!! Its damn frustrating....when u wait one week for a match and you get injured and the week is gone...god damn it....my knee is twisted and i find it hard to bend....hope i recover soon....mus regain my touch and speed soon...i pray so....
Monday, September 10, 2007
Monday, September 03, 2007
Carrot and rabbit
Whahaha....i realised i hadn't blogged for 3 years? And kinda stumbled upon my blog again and realise they locked my blog until i had to retrieve the password again. Read my previous blogs....and realise so much has changed and i was so much immature years ago. Don't think anyone stumble upon my blog....if you do, pls let me know.
Anyway kinda wanna blog tonite...so much has changed recently....oh...she came back into my life....perhaps after i stopped blogging or should i say came in and out repeatedly. Always during the holidays...and never a 2nd time. Its like hanging a carrot in front of a rabbit and after it has a bite, you keep the carrot till maybe the next time you feel it deserve it again....making the rabbit wonder what wrong has it done. Hmm...dun realli blame her....its my overindulgence rather than she leading me on. Isaac was right...I shldnt make excuses for her when I don't even noe her or she didnt even give me any clearer signs of progressing. But anyway, still learning to refrain from biting the carrot or even refusing to look at it. In search of cabbages or other veg to prove they are better than carrots...haha...Anyhow...I rem she said "Do you think I will get attached first or you?" Though then i wanted to very much say "together", i refrained...perhaps a wrong decision but nevertheless I tink i know you don't have feelings for me, perhaps not even the slightest. Makes me wonder if anything happen to me this very moment will you find out tmr when the sun rises. I still go with what I say then "I think you will get a boyfriend first. I will need quite some time to get one(bcos of you)" From the bottom of my heart, yes....hope you realli get someone nice soon? And perhaps i'll forget abt you? Or perhaps tt will be the end of our see-saw relationship.
I said I matured quite a bit in years and I agree...i can see the maturity in myself. Thinking often for others rather than others thinking for me....so much so that sometimes i expect them to spare a thought for me or expect something in return. But perhaps not so....i'm acting like a 26 year old guy...i'm quite certain...or maybe even 24, 25...becos of friends like kai, keith, kelvin etc. Realli fortunate to have met them...although it looks or sounds strange i'm mixing with pple that are much older and probably doing things beyond my age, i learnt alot from them. Abt life, abt logical thinking, abt the society....though all may not be good but i like to tink i know what is good for me and what is not. Does that somehow brings my disappointment to friends who are same age or younger than me? That they treat friendships lightly, that they forget good pple fast, that they only have eyes for their partners, that they only tink abt themselves and not spare a thought for pple? sometimes i wonder if they noe how i tink and there....my older friends show me that they been through this b4 and they noe me...perhaps this has realli affected my life a fair bit. I start to tink pple do not value me even for the things i did for them....start to tink maybe i shouldnt treat them as nice since i'm not getting the same treatment. But kenny always remains kenny...he is always soft hearted and try to be selfless. I wonder when this "mission" to be number 1 mr nice guy gonna end....its tiring being one.....and I don't wan to be one...end of the day....who rems u? who comes back to you and say "kenny, thanks for the things you done for me...." who calls you up occasionally and ask how are you? Nobody....sad to say....they don't even keep promises any more. Which is why i treasure my elder friends alot, always there....though they dun ask wats wrong...they know wats wrong....makes you wonder if there's someone out there always looking after you. Perhaps your partner.....ya...but don't think i'm anywhere near that....don't think any gal can accept a 22 who tinks and tok like a 26....too mature...so mature its almost like forcing a gal whos out of a cocoon just to grow up with you....ya...quite sure there's no gal like tt....will be quite scary for her....and the ordeal she need to go through...
Haiz...hope i can blog more...makes me feel kinda better...provided i can rem my password...haha...in the next couple of months...i hope i make more friends, best is be happy...haven been realli happy for a long time....hope i like what ever i am doing and everything goes well...so that behind that smile can be a real smile soon...hope to meet that smile that make me smile too soon....cya
Anyway kinda wanna blog tonite...so much has changed recently....oh...she came back into my life....perhaps after i stopped blogging or should i say came in and out repeatedly. Always during the holidays...and never a 2nd time. Its like hanging a carrot in front of a rabbit and after it has a bite, you keep the carrot till maybe the next time you feel it deserve it again....making the rabbit wonder what wrong has it done. Hmm...dun realli blame her....its my overindulgence rather than she leading me on. Isaac was right...I shldnt make excuses for her when I don't even noe her or she didnt even give me any clearer signs of progressing. But anyway, still learning to refrain from biting the carrot or even refusing to look at it. In search of cabbages or other veg to prove they are better than carrots...haha...Anyhow...I rem she said "Do you think I will get attached first or you?" Though then i wanted to very much say "together", i refrained...perhaps a wrong decision but nevertheless I tink i know you don't have feelings for me, perhaps not even the slightest. Makes me wonder if anything happen to me this very moment will you find out tmr when the sun rises. I still go with what I say then "I think you will get a boyfriend first. I will need quite some time to get one(bcos of you)" From the bottom of my heart, yes....hope you realli get someone nice soon? And perhaps i'll forget abt you? Or perhaps tt will be the end of our see-saw relationship.
I said I matured quite a bit in years and I agree...i can see the maturity in myself. Thinking often for others rather than others thinking for me....so much so that sometimes i expect them to spare a thought for me or expect something in return. But perhaps not so....i'm acting like a 26 year old guy...i'm quite certain...or maybe even 24, 25...becos of friends like kai, keith, kelvin etc. Realli fortunate to have met them...although it looks or sounds strange i'm mixing with pple that are much older and probably doing things beyond my age, i learnt alot from them. Abt life, abt logical thinking, abt the society....though all may not be good but i like to tink i know what is good for me and what is not. Does that somehow brings my disappointment to friends who are same age or younger than me? That they treat friendships lightly, that they forget good pple fast, that they only have eyes for their partners, that they only tink abt themselves and not spare a thought for pple? sometimes i wonder if they noe how i tink and there....my older friends show me that they been through this b4 and they noe me...perhaps this has realli affected my life a fair bit. I start to tink pple do not value me even for the things i did for them....start to tink maybe i shouldnt treat them as nice since i'm not getting the same treatment. But kenny always remains kenny...he is always soft hearted and try to be selfless. I wonder when this "mission" to be number 1 mr nice guy gonna end....its tiring being one.....and I don't wan to be one...end of the day....who rems u? who comes back to you and say "kenny, thanks for the things you done for me...." who calls you up occasionally and ask how are you? Nobody....sad to say....they don't even keep promises any more. Which is why i treasure my elder friends alot, always there....though they dun ask wats wrong...they know wats wrong....makes you wonder if there's someone out there always looking after you. Perhaps your partner.....ya...but don't think i'm anywhere near that....don't think any gal can accept a 22 who tinks and tok like a 26....too mature...so mature its almost like forcing a gal whos out of a cocoon just to grow up with you....ya...quite sure there's no gal like tt....will be quite scary for her....and the ordeal she need to go through...
Haiz...hope i can blog more...makes me feel kinda better...provided i can rem my password...haha...in the next couple of months...i hope i make more friends, best is be happy...haven been realli happy for a long time....hope i like what ever i am doing and everything goes well...so that behind that smile can be a real smile soon...hope to meet that smile that make me smile too soon....cya
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